The Dying Days Of The Diddymen

The Leinster second-string backline head out to training. They’re very keen on playing on tightly-mown surfaces, both so that their flashy skills and quick feet are in evidence and so that they can actually see each other. It’d be like patrolling in Vietnam if they had to play in a meadow. Because they’re all midgets, y’see?

There’s nothing inherently noble or right about having a small backline, rather than one composed of enormous, planet-boshing mutants. When old-timers quote the gospel that rugby is a sport for all shapes and sizes, they conveniently forget that a good big ‘un will always beat a good little ‘un.  Continue reading

The Big 46 [Sic] Pt. 1 – I’m Alright, You’re Alright

Name the Boks! All three of these players STARTED against New Zealand in Wellington in the 2011 Tri-Nations Test.

Dexy’s [relatively] recent article in the Irish Times made the point that “… Ireland have used 46 players in their 17 Tests in this unrelenting [2011-12] season. As this tour underlined in abundance, Ireland don’t have 46 Test players.” Continue reading

Match Reaction: Australia 25 – 23 Wales

David Harris celebrates with Dave Dennis; Adam Jones is gutted. Losing in the last minute has a taste all of its own, and both Welsh and Irish players reacquainted themselves with it at the weekend.

Of all the northern hemisphere teams touring southern hemisphere countries, Wales were the most confident. A number of factors were stacked in their favour: their players are well rested, due to the Welsh clubs’ lack of success in European competition [even those players based in France like Mike Phillips and James Hook had no involvement in the business end of the Top 14]; they had an almost entirely injury-free squad, with the notable exception of Big Bopper Jamie Roberts; and they were Grand Slam champions. They should have represented the Six Nations teams’ best chance of a series victory against an injury-ravaged Australia. Instead, they haven’t even been able to take the series to a third test.  Continue reading

Who’s The Boshiest Of Them All? England vs Wales Preview

Sometimes it's not the sheer amount of BOSH, but the correct application of it, as Dr. Roberts indicates, and he's er... a man you must believe.

Maybe the most heated rugby rivalry in the Six Nations Championship takes centre stage and top billing in round three. England and Wales are both on course for a Grand Slam (shudder the thought) and Saturday evening’s game should not only be a competition between which nation’s legendary ex-player can provide more inept BBC Commentary (we’ll take Guscott over Davies in that contest) but also a competition to see which backline is the boshiest (where we plump for the Welsh).

England have been deeply unimpressive in the tournament so far, arguably outplayed by more physical teams with the inability to convert physical dominance into points – Scotland can’t score tries, Italy couldn’t kick snow off a snowy rugby ball – and were rescued by a pair of blockdowns by Charlie “Dan Akroyd” Hodgson. But scoff as we might about the English, they’ve survived two away trips and come up smelling of Orc and now have a chance to bring the much fancied Welsh crashing back down to earth in Fortress Twickers.

Last year, England were reveling in their two victories over Australia (one down in the southern hemisphere in June 2010 and a really whomping at HQ in November) and were really starting to believe their own press – turns out we can learn something from the Martin Johnson team after all – and put a hurting on a Welsh side on the opening Friday night in Cardiff on the way to a Championship only marred by their blitzing in Lansdowne.

Scotland showed last weekend that a defense more aggressive than the Irish could stultify the big hard-hitting runners in the Welsh backline, but conversely the Welsh showed themselves to be extremely clinical when the cracks started to appear against a 14 man defense by creating intense pressure in the tight before leaving the Big Bopper, JJV Davies or Cuthbert (who had a fine game) running against an extremely stretched Scottish backline.

Meanwhile the English backrow looked deeply unconvincing and was outplayed by the more dynamic and aggressive Scots, in particular by Rennie and Denton, and will be coming up against another of strong point of the Welsh team. If the English choose their own Welshman at No8 Ben Morgan, things could be interesting, but the combination of the relentless Faletau, Lydiate, the re-born Ryan Jones, Tiporuc or God’s-gift-to-mankind Sam Warburton will dominate the pedestrian Dowson-Robshaw-Croft axis. If the Welsh has perpetrate turnovers in key areas, they have shown that they have the game intelligence to capitalize on pressure and produce scores. Assuming post-magnet Rhys Priestland has his kicking boots, this means penalties and more than likely tries.

Bookies have the Welsh as narrow favourites but logic suggests that the Welsh are more than three points better than the English. Welsh by 7.

Sit Yourself Down There With A Nice Cup Of Scald And A Copy Of Sun Tzu

How Do Ireland Stop The Big Bopper?

The Mole proved himself a braver man than many of the Irish team by sitting down today to watch a recording of the quarter final against Wales. Braver than brave. Braver even than England’s Brave John Terry ©. Hand over the VC etc.  Continue reading

Report Card: Wales

The Big Bopper Jamie Roberts - Sings A Good Anthem, Runs a Good Line

Wales have a lot to be happy about in the aftermath of their World Cup.

True, they came home with a 4-3 record, but this is cup rugby. If you don’t win them all, it’s better to come home with a 4-3 record than a 4-1 record: playing seven games is a better result than playing five.

Continue reading